Kim, Jang Mee = Kind Shine

What’s The Big Idea?

2011-11-06T20:26:00.000-08:00

What’s The Big Idea?
A decade of family building…

This is an article that my dad wrote that is about how my parents adopted all of us kids...

What’s the big idea? It's actually a long series of smaller ideas of which I can only take credit for a few of them. My wife Cheryl gets the credit for most of these ideas, and I’d be remiss if I failed to mention God – who gave us encouragement and pushed us along the way while knocking down occasional barriers for us.

This story begins in 1999 after Cheryl and I failed to conceive a child on our own, despite a surgery for Cheryl and various different fertility treatments for us both as a couple. Basically we came to a point where we decided together that we were not meant to have biological children. It was at this point that Cheryl told me she had been doing some research into international adoptions. She also did research into domestic adoptions and decided that the best chance for us to become parents was if we adopted a child from overseas. Something like adoption had never even occurred to me. I had no knowledge about the subject and I wasn’t very enthused when Cheryl first mentioned it to me. She wanted me to look at some information and I just wasn’t very gung-ho about it at all. As it sometimes happens I misjudged how important this was to Cheryl, so she was upset by my lack of enthusiasm. So I figured I better at least look at the information she found doing internet research. The more I read about, the more it intrigued me so I kept looking into international adoption.

Cheryl had sort of locked onto an adoption agency that is local known as Holt International, and its Korean program. The main reason she was looking at this program was at the time it was one of the cheaper programs, and it had the escort option. This means we wouldn’t have to travel to South Korea to receive our new child, the child would arrive with an escort at a local airport where we would then receive them. Cheryl also told me about an article she read when she was twelve or so about The Holts - Harry and Bertha, and their story which made a big impression on her. One thing I discovered was a couple didn’t necessarily have to be rich to adopt a child, which I had always assumed was something so expensive that you’d have to be very well-off financially. It was actually cheaper than in-vitro fertilization (IVF) would be, of which there’s only around 33% success rate. With international adoptions if we qualified as a couple there was pretty much a 100% success rate. Also looking back in my past I had been stationed in Seoul, South Korea when I served in the U.S. Army. I had really enjoyed my time there and developed an affinity for the Korean people whom I met and worked with and did several other activities with them. This contributed to me deciding with Cheryl to go ahead with this first step of the plan. So we filled out our first initial application to adopt a child through Holt International’s Korea Program in late 1999 – right before Y2K. Y2K of course is the year 2000 when all of our computers were supposed to crash because their clocks weren’t set up for the next century, but it didn’t happen.

Kim, Jang Mee (kind shine) - Leah

Holt assigned us a social worker named Lisa Muntz. She is the one who wrote up our home study which is one of the main steps in an adoption process to determine if we were qualified to adopt a child, and what type of child would be a match for us. She visited our home 3 different times learning more and more information about us, our home, and our surrounding community. We also attended PIP (Parenting in Process) classes. We had to do legal background checks and each pass medical physicals. We also had to get permission from our government through immigration so our child could obtain the proper visa to leave their country and to enter the U.S.A. We had to be very specific about what type of child we would accept – boy, girl, or either – what special needs we would be open to them having (or not) – age range, etc. There were always fees to be paid along the way and they had to be paid for before we could continue to the next step. The whole process took months and sometimes over 1 year.

Sometime in late 2000 we received our first referral. It was for a baby girl who was just a few months old. She was born premature (32 weeks) and her information said she had possible liver problems and estropia, or crossed-eyes. Holt gave us about a few days to decide if we wanted to accept this baby as our daughter. We had her health, development, and size information, and one picture of her when she was 2 months old (she was sleeping) to use to decide. It didn’t take us long to decide we would accept this child as our first daughter (and child). After this our adoption fee was due, which was the largest fee, and we also had to provide the escort fee to pay for our daughter (whom we would name Leah) and her escort’s plane travel. We also had to pay for the post-adoption fees, which involved 3 social worker visits and her recommendation for approval for our agency to allow us to finalize our adoption. We had arranged beforehand that my parents would lend us the money for these fees. We could’ve borrowed from our credit union but my parents graciously provided us with an interest-free loan, which we repaid in a couple of years. We had to wait for over 6 more months, during which time an eye surgery was performed on Leah without our approval – which extended her time in Seoul. Finally in late May, 2001 we received a call from Holt-Oregon that our first child would arrive at the Des Moines Airport at 11something p.m. on May 31st. So we started this idea – this process in late 1999, and it was now close to the middle of 2001 so it took us 17 months to become parents from when we committed to adopt internationally. It was a long, hard road to get to this point, but it was definitely worthwhile.

We rented a car to drive to Des Moines because all of the decent traveling vehicles we owned at this time were trucks (which changed fairly quickly afterwards). We stopped in Ankeny, Iowa to pick up my sister Lori, so she could come and help us by taking pictures and video of this huge event in our lives. At around midnight Leah arrived and was placed in Cheryl’s arms by a middle-aged Korean lady who served as her escort. Leah was sleepy, but apparently according to her escort she spent a lot of the long flight crying, and the escort was wearing a fairly damp blouse to prove she was right. It was now June 1st, 2001 and the next day was my 39th birthday. I’ve always told Leah she was the best birthday gift I had ever received. So now Cheryl and I were parents to a baby girl who was just a little less than 10-months-old. Our OJT (on-the-job-training) as parents began. If you would like to read more about these times, click here.

Leah’s adjustment to us and her new home was pretty rough. Her internal clock was thrown off and she grieved on and off for the first couple weeks or so. Her sleeping patterns were sporadic so Cheryl and I actually slept in shifts. Leah bonded to Cheryl before she bonded to me. I would say it took Leah almost 2 months to bond to me. She would let me play silly games like peek-a-boo with her, and she sometimes let me feed her. She wouldn’t let me hold her for quite a while, so Cheryl had to do the comforting, bathing, diapering, and most of the feeding for quite some time. I did most of the other stuff like housework, dishes, errands, etc. Cheryl had 9 weeks off from work and I had 3 weeks off. When Cheryl returned to work that’s when we started working opposite shifts – Cheryl moved to 1st shift and I stayed on 2nd shift so daycare was never necessary. Previously we both worked 2nd shift, which we both prefer, but we had a deal that if our first child was a boy that I would have to go to 1st shift. Leah’s a girl so Cheryl had to go there. Cheryl had to carry Leah around quite a bit which usually stopped Leah from being upset. We were new, inexperienced parents trying to figure this out on our own. I remember Leah had the weirdest way of getting around. She could crawl on all-fours, but would also use her legs and the back of her head to slide around on her back. This caused her to develop a bald spot on the back of her head. It was just a little over a month before she was standing up by using furniture and walking, and before she turned one she was walking on her own. Before this she used walkers and allowed us to hold her hands and help her to walk.

We don’t really know what Leah’s vision was like; we could tell it wasn’t good. Possibly everything was a blur for her. We had been taking Leah for doctor’s visits and soon got her set up with a local ophthalmologist/surgeon. His name was Dr. Sinjay Shah. It was pretty clear to everyone that Leah’s eye surgery for her estropia that she received back in Seoul was unsuccessful. Dr. Shah decided Leah needed another surgery, but he wanted for us to discover whatever we could about what the previous surgeon in Korea had done during Leah's first eye surgery, and maybe provide any notes. The reason Dr. Shah needed these notes is he likes to have a plan before he does any surgery, and to know what was done previously to Leah’s eyes would supply him with necessary information. So we contacted Holt-Oregon to see if they could get Holt-Korea to contact the surgeon who performed Leah’s first eye operation and get this information. We waited a couple of months before they told us the surgeon refused to provide the information. In the meantime Leah endured some eye patching for a few hours each day to force her to use her weaker eye. In November 2001, Dr Shah performed the surgery on Leah’s eyes by shortening eye muscles on the outsides of her eyes. The surgery was successful and Leah could see well for the first time. It changed her disposition as well from being kind of a grumpy baby to being happy with a sunnier disposition. It was pretty remarkable to us. When Leah finally bonded to me after a couple of months she became a “daddy’s girl,” but she made me work for it for sure. So for a couple of years Leah was our only child and I don’t remember having any plans to adopt again, but Cheryl was definitely thinking about it and soon was gradually trying to convince me again to adopt another child. She didn’t have to work at it too hard because I had always wanted a son.

In 2003 Cheryl came up with a plan that we should have an addition built onto our house, and when we borrow the money to do this addition to borrow enough extra to pay for the larger adoption fees. We needed a bigger house so our daughter and a new son wouldn’t have to share bedrooms in future. Also the prices of homes were climbing so it made financial sense to build now. So we hired a local contractor to add 2 bedrooms with a basement belowaddition to our house. We also had our furnace replaced and added central air conditioning and a new water heater. Since we were going from a 3-bedroom (one in the basement) to a 5-bedroom house, we had to have our whole septic system replaced. We also had our whole house resided. All of this work was happening while we were in the process of adopting a son through the Holt-Korea Program. Our first adoption was through the regular (NSN non-special-needs) program, but this time we decided to adopt though Holt-Korea’s Waiting Child Program. These are children who were not referred to anyone due to having special needs, and are usually older (toddlers). Cheryl found our son on Holt’s photolistings, a boy who was born premature (32 weeks) and had some slight delays, as well as an ASD (atrial septal defect) or a small hole in his heart, which had since healed on its own. For the waiting child program, Holt-Oregon held committees to decide which family would get to adopt a child when more than one family was interested in the child, or even if only one family wanted to adopt them – to determine if they are a good match for the child. We were chosen to be this boy’s new parents. His name was Choi, Jung Wook, but we would name him Alexander.

Choi, Jung Wook (Right Shine) – Alexander.

So in 2003 we decided to adopt a son from South Korea, a brother for Leah. We jumped into this process in the summer and by the fall we are getting all this work done on our house. Cheryl and I are doing all of the staining of the new doors and woodwork, as well as painting many walls. We are doing the usual adoption process steps, raising our daughter, and working our jobs accepting whatever overtime we could get. It was a very busy time. While our addition was being built occasionally I would walk around with our video camera recording the progress and little Leah would follow me around saying over and over again “me see Leah” “me see Leah.” When I would flip the video camera’s LCD display around so she could see herself she would get so excited and start jumping up-and-down and clapping – it was so cute! We discovered when you adopt a child through Holt-Korea’s Waiting Child Program that the process can go much quicker. This time the whole process from initial application to receiving our new son took only 7 ½ months, compared to the 17 months that Leah’s adoption process took. We also discovered that some couples were starting to travel to Seoul, South Korea to receive their children instead of using an escort, and apparently it was quite an experience. I talked to Bob Tobin, who with his wife Mary had adopted 2 sons from Korea and he recently traveled to receive their second son. His description of his experience made me interested for us to travel to receive Alexander when it was time. In February 2004 we received our travel call to receive Alex, and Cheryl and I had decided earlier that I would travel to Seoul to receive Alex while she stayed home to care for Leah. Other than little puddle-jumper flights, this would be my first long flight in almost 20 years, which was when I flew home from Seoul, South Korea in 1985 after having been stationed there for 1 ½ years. I was anxious to meet our new son Alexander, and also to get another opportunity to see Korea again – 20 years later!

It’s winter, February, 2004, and the temperatures are below zero degrees here in Iowa. The puddle jumper plane I was flying to Chicago was actually frozen to the runway. It couldn’t even move away from the gate to taxi down the runway, so they had to bring out the de-icer truck and thaw the ice off the plane. As a result we took off from Cedar Rapids in time to catch my United flight to Japan, and then Seoul, South Korea. When we were over South Korea it was around 8 p.m. and it was dark outside. The skies were clear so I could see an outline of Korea by the lights below. I could see where all of the big cities were, especially Seoul which has over 20 million people in its metropolitan area. I could also see that North Korea was very dark, hardly any lights were visable. I wrote a whole story of this journey on a blog, if you would like to read about it just click here. Just to summarize a bit – it was an incredible journey and experience. Alexander was 22-months-old and the day I received him for good and he was separated from his foster family was a rough day. I brought home our first son, and a lot of our family showed up to greet us at our local airport when we returned home. Now we were a family of four!

On the first night Alex was with our family we decided to go to a local restaurant to eat supper, just the 4 of us. Our church Pastor Dale Holloway just happened to be there as well, so we introduced our new son to him. Alex greeted him by punching him in the face. Next Sunday in church Pastor Dale had us bring Alex up in front of the congregation to introduce him, and warned them to watch out for his right hook. This little incident (among others) was just a warning of things to come. Alex also had a rough adjustment period to our family, but overall it wasn’t as difficult as Leah’s adjustment period. Alex would be well-behaved, playful, and happy for the most part, but he could also throw major fits at the drop of a hat. For a long while he thought it was OK to just hit people, including Cheryl and myself. Fortunately while I took my customary 3 weeks off from work, Cheryl took an opportunity to take voluntary lay-off from work. This turned out to be 6 months long. Alex really needed this extra time with at least one of us being there with him most of the time, and better Cheryl than myself because Alex mostly responds well to Cheryl. After a couple of doctors visits and examinations it was discovered that Alex’s hole in his heart did heal well, but he (like Leah) had a small detectable heart murmur that the doctors didn’t seem too concerned about. Alex is a character like Leah, and he often carried around a stuffed pikachu pokemon that his foster family had given him back in Korea. He liked to chew on this stuffed toy and over time it became pretty ragged. We always tell Alex that he has smiling eyes – his eyes look like little smiles. So for the rest of 2004 our family consisted of Cheryl, myself, Leah, and Alex, but toward the end of 2004 we had already decided to adopt another son from the waiting child program.

Huh, Min Jae (Strong Timber) – Benjamin.

In the later part of 2004 Cheryl continued watching Holt’s photolistings. She was monitoring the progress of another waiting child boy named Huh, Min Jae. His diagnosis at birth was perinatal asphyxia, hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy, multi-organ failure, Richets, and anemia. Basically his organs shut down at birth and he was revived. It was thought that he might have cerebral palsy and delays due to the loss of oxygen to his body (brain). Cheryl monitored his progress for months while he remained on the photolisting. We decided if Min Jae got to the point where it seemed like he would be OK developmentally then we’d go to Holt’s WC committee to see if we could be his parents. His progress reports were promising so we went for it and were approved to be his parents. He is our only Korean child whom we decided to keep some of his Korean name – we named him Benjamin Jae, so we kept the Min Jae. We started Ben’s adoption in December 2004 and both Cheryl and I traveled to Seoul, South Korea to receive Benjamin as our 3rd child and our 2nd son toward the end of May 2005. So this adoption process was even shorter than Alex’s, just under 6 months from initial application to receiving Benjamin.

When we traveled to Seoul, Leah and Alex stayed with their Grandparent’s for roughly seven days. Cheryl and I flew to Dallas, TX., and from there we took a Korean Air flight straight to Seoul. I also wrote a blog with pictures about this journey which goes into way more detail and can be viewed here. Like Alex, Benjamin was 22-months-old when we received him and in good health. He was (and is) a happy, funny, and strong boy. During this trip we did a lot of sightseeing and we actually were invited to spend an evening with Min Jae’s foster family to eat supper and visit a cool light exhibit in Seoul. When we received Benjamin for good he only grieved for about 10 minutes or so, and then he was done. Ben liked to take baths and he liked to sleep a lot back in those days. Benjamin’s adjustment to our family and to his new siblings went pretty smooth. He would sometimes bite Leah or Alex if they were mean to him or tried to take a toy from him (which may or may not have been their toy). His doctor’s visits went well and we had ourselves a bright and healthy new son who didn’t end up having cerebral palsy or any other problems. So now we were a family of five!

During Benjamin’s adoption process in 2004-2005 Holt International was really pushing their China program hard. There was a great need for parents to adopt the many girls in China who were abandoned due to China’s one-child per family laws. As a result Chinese adoptions really started to pick up again. At this point obviously we were staying with adopting from South Korea through the Holt International adoption agency. Now it was 2005 and I turned 43 just after we received Benjamin. By the time Cheryl and I both decided we wanted to adopt another daughter and the sister for Leah that she kept praying for and asking us to get for her, it was 2006. back in June 2005, since I turned 43-years-old I officially aged out of Holt’s Korea Program. So they were no longer an option as an adoption agency to help us grow our family.

An Adoption Crossroad.

So as far as I was concerned, we were through with the Holt-Korea program. Cheryl was still looking at various waiting children adoption photolistings, mostly Rainbow Kids. She found a cute little toddler girl from Guatemala so we decided to look at her file to find out more about her. She was almost 3-years-old and she had some developmental delays to which because of her young age they didn’t know the extent of these delays. We were sent a video of her walking in a four-wheel walker. She didn’t show much emotion or awareness, and we ultimately decided there were too many unknowns about her and we (mostly I) didn’t feel comfortable enough to continue. This led us to the possibility of adopting another waiting child through another local adoption agency who had a higher ceiling on their parental age requirements than did Holt International. The new agency was CHSFS (Children’s Home Society Family Services) based in Minnesota, but they had a small office in Cedar Rapids that had just started up. We filled out their initial application and paid their application fee to get started. Dealing with CHSFS was difficult – we just didn’t work well together and nothing ever seemed to happen. Their social worker who was over the waiting child program was very gruff and very particular – too particular for our own comfort level, so we ended up dumping them. In early 2006 Cheryl was checking into the Holt-China waiting child program. We looked at a couple girl toddlers’ files and ultimately decided not to go to committee for them. One was a cute little 2-year-old girl named Yu Jao Jao, who had spinal bifida and was incontinent. One night Jessica from Holt-China’s waiting child program called us about another 2-year-old girl from Hunan province in China. She was born with a cleft palate that had been surgically repaired in China, and she also had a large birthmark on her right-side of her neck going up to her scalp. She also had a slight ear lobe deformity on her right ear, and had speech and hearing problems. This little girls name was Xiao, Wen Xin and she grew up in an orphanage in Zhu Zhou City.

Xiao, Wen Xin – Jenna.

So we looked at Wen Xin’s file. Her picture was cute, but like most girls who live in orphanages in China her hair was cut short so she looked more like a boy. We read over her file and sent it to an international adoption specialist to look it over. We did a lot of research on cleft palates and possible future outcomes and surgeries. We decided to accept her as our new daughter and we didn’t even have to go to committee this time to be approved to be her parents, we just started her adoption process from this point. We knew that since Jenna grew up in an institution rather than in a foster home that she could have attachment issues, and would certainly at least start out behind developmentally for her age. Jenna’s adoption process took place through most of 2006 and well into 2007. One difference between Korean and Chinese adoptions was for this adoption we had to do a dossier, which meant a significant increase in paperwork and time. We accomplished the dossier step-by-step with the help of a dossier guide named Masha Ma. She told us what to do, when to do it, and how much money to send along. The whole adoption process from initial application to travel took almost as long as Leah’s adoption process took – almost 17 months, but by July 2007 we were ready to travel to China to receive our second daughter and fourth child whom we decided to name Jenna WenXin. First we would travel to the capitol city of China, Beijing. This is where our orientation happens and we also get to see some sites like The Great Wall, Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City, etc. Then we travel southward to Changsha, which is where we receive Jenna and complete her adoption in her province. Then we travel further southward to Guangzhou, which is where the U.S. Consulate is located and where Jenna receives her visa physical and her visa to legally enter and reside (and later become a citizen) in the United States.

We would be gone for 17 days (about 2 ½ weeks) and during this time Leah, Alex, and Benjamin stayed with my parents (Dick and Donna). Our dogs all stayed at Cheryl’s sister Heather’s house with her husband Bill. We arranged for our neighbor Kayla to feed our horses each day (with help from her father David). Like our other adoption journeys I wrote a detailed story about this journey in a blog with pictures. It can be seen if you click here. Just to give a short summary (if that’s even possible), it was a great trip for Cheryl and I to take together – we had a great time. When we received Jenna she grieved a little, but only for 15-20 minutes. She was very quiet, but she warmed up to us pretty quickly. Jenna let me hold her for a bit when we first met her, but after that she was a little afraid of me for several days so I couldn’t hold her or carry her, so Cheryl had to do all of that again. She would play silly games with me and let me bribe her with M&M’s, but when they were gone so was she. Jenna was comfortable with us in our hotel rooms in Changsha and Guangzhou, but when we were out and about she would become very quiet and withdrawn. In both Beijing and Guangzhou we were mostly with seven other families who were also there to adopt a child, and we usually had a guide who spoke English and of course Chinese. In Changsha though we were by ourselves and we had a guide named Shirley, who spoke good English. So Shirley could help us with communicating with Jenna, though as I mentioned Jenna was very quiet and only had a basic Chinese vocabulary. Jenna was 3 years and 2 months old at this time.

When we received Jenna we met the director of her orphanage. I asked her if it would be possible for us to come visit Jenna’s orphanage, receive her finding note (note that was left with Jenna by whoever abandoned her as a baby – presumably her birth mother), and maybe visit her finding place (the place where she was abandoned and found). The director said “yes” if Shirley could arrange for it to happen. So Shirley actually had to get permission from the local government for us to visit Jenna’s orphanage, which was about 60 miles away from where we were. Remember that China is a communist country and not exactly free. Shirley did manage to get permission for us, and in a couple of days – the day after we officially adopted Jenna – we traveled to and visited Jenna’s orphanage and her finding place. We also received her finding note. To read a blog post about this day, click here.

When we left China for good on a flight to Japan-Minneapolis-Cedar Rapids, as the plane was taking off from Guangzhou Jenna began to cry loudly. She cried for about 10 minutes or so. We tried to give her a prepared bottle beforehand but she didn’t want it at that time. I took a video out the window as we were taking off and up while we were in the air, looking down on China from the clouds. The background music in this video was of Jenna crying. I don’t know if she was crying because her ears were popping, or if she was aware she was leaving her homeland. After that cry was over she was good-to-go and well-behaved for the whole rest of the journey.

Jenna has always been a joy – she is such a happy child and she fit into our family of six from the beginning. You could just see that Jenna was thrilled to be a part of a family and that she was thriving as a result. Like most children who grow up in orphanages – Jenna was just going to waste there, and we reached in there and snatched her out to join us. We are not supposed to look at ourselves as heroes, because really we are not, or we are just one of many. In Jenna’s case we saw where she came from and we knew where she was going and I would have to say with God’s help and direction Jenna was saved. I don’t really care if people think I’m wrong – I say I’m right and it was (and is) a pleasure.

Since Jenna has been home (4 plus years now) she’s had multiple evaluations, surgeries, speech therapies, eye correction (glasses), hearing correction (hearing aids), and it’s an ongoing and continuous process. Jenna faces it all with courage and confidence, and she lives her life with a smile on her face. Her brother’s and sister love her and have always gotten along well with her. She is now in 1st grade and does the best she can, though she has always been behind and still has a lot to overcome. I wrote a story about Jenna that was published in an online magazine China Moon around a couple of years ago, if you would like to read it, click here.

Certificates of Citizenship – COC’s.

Jenna received her COC in the mail about a month after she was home in August of 2007. We traveled to Des Moines, Ia. to get her birth certificate (certificate of foreign birth). For Leah, Alex, and Ben we received their birth certificates soon after each of their adoptions were finalized, but it took us until June 2008 for us to finally receive each of their COC’s. We had to travel to the USCIS building in Des Moines to receive them and it was during the floods of 2008, which are infamous in these parts. This made our children legally full-fledged citizens of the U.S.A.

Christopher Ryan Lediros – Ryan Christopher.

In 2008 Cheryl found another potential son for our family on Holt-China’s waiting children photolistings and she talked me into allowing her to check into seeing his file. Holt-China told us “no” because this boy was within months of Jenna’s age – which is something they call “artificial twinning.” Sometimes Holt allows families to adopt an artificial twin on a case-by-case basis, and I guess for us it was a NO GO. We already (in my opinion) had experience with artificial twinning. Ben and Jenna are about 10 months apart in age, and this has never been a problem, but it was out of our hands. Cheryl had been watching a cute toddler boy on the Holt-Philippines waiting child photolisting who was around 2-years-old and was suspected of having some symptoms of dwarfism (little people). Neither Cheryl nor I knew much about dwarfism but we did our usual internet research enough to where we became comfortable to go to committee for him. We asked to see Chris’ file and read through it all. We thought we were the only family going to committee for him but we found out during a telephone interview with Beth Smith (waiting child coordinator) that there was one other family who wanted to go to committee. The next day we found out we were chosen to be Chris’ family, we would become a family of seven! We met all of the requirements to adopt Chris (Ryan) and even each passed psychological examinations (required for Holt-Philippines). We completed the home study, dossier, background checks, etc. It was more stringent this time because the Philippines are a Hague country adoption-wise, which means they dug even deeper into our backgrounds and our pasts. Mostly the immigration requirements were stricter and more involved. We made it through though and in January 2009 we were ready to travel to Cebu Island in the Philippines, where Chris was living with his foster family. Also for our journey to the Philippines, we decided to bring Leah along with us so she could help with Ryan, plus we thought it would be a good experience for her and that she would be old (mature) enough to appreciate such an experience. So we had to get a passport for Leah.

For this trip we decided that it would be best if all of the rest of our children (besides Leah) didn’t miss any school, so Cheryl’s mom Lois graciously agreed to stay with the kids at our home so they could continue with their routines. We would be gone for 8 days. We flew from Cedar Rapids to Detroit-Narita, Japan-Manila, Philippines, and then to Cebu Island in the Philippines. I also wrote a blog about this trip with more details and pictures, just click here if you would like to read about this journey. Just to summarize – another great trip – not much tourism this time because Ryan’s foster mother hung out with us at our hotel for a few days while the adoption process proceeded for small parts of each day, but we still all had fun getting to know Ryan. We decided to switch the names ‘Chris’ and ‘Ryan’ around because his foster family called him ‘Ryan’ so that was the name he is accustomed. When we received Ryan for good we were driven to Ryan’s foster family’s home, so we met them and received lots of helpful information and got to see Ryan in his environment. After several days of staying at a nice hotel and swimming in summer-like weather each day, it was time to say goodbye to Ryan’s foster family and to travel back to Manila to finish Ryan’s adoption at ICAB (inter-country-adoption-board). and for Ryan to receive his visa to allow him to enter the U.S.A. At this time Ryan was 3 ½ years-old, and he was (and is) an active little scamp. We traveled home basically in reverse of the way we came. Ryan’s behavior was good and Leah and Ryan had built a good rapport with each other, and Leah was mostly helpful to us on this journey. Ryan called Leah “ati” or big sister, and so she was one.

During examinations of Ryan his doctor has been reluctant to give him a diagnosis of dwarfism. He's at the bottom of the height charts so he’s small. He has creases in his arms and neck. Ryan has an oblong, almost ‘football’ shaped head. He is a very cute, active, and bright boy. Many girls at his school think he’s adorable – he’s quite the ladies man. He keeps us all entertained with his natural clownishness. He’s very proud of his homeland and loves the birthday gifts he continues to receive each year from his foster family. He often remembers that we promised we would travel back to the Philippines so he can visit Mama Nora and the rest of his foster family.

Later in 2009 we finalized Ryan’s adoption and ordered and received his birth certificates. When it came time for Ryan to receive his COC (certificate of citizenship) we all got to participate in a Halloween-themed citizenship ceremony. To read about this day, click here.

It was at this point in the story that I started our family blog “Together” that I have continued to keep up to the present day. It’s basically a blog about what is happening with our family of seven, it’s a continuation of this story. If you would like to check it out, click here. I have also created a slideshow that’s a picture version of this story with music. If you have some time, click here to check it out. This story is an overview that ties everything else together to complete this ongoing story.
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To read another article by me, click here.

Gotcha Days

2011-05-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

Gotcha Days! This is a celebration that is unique of adoptive families. It's a tradition that my parents started. Gotcha Days are anniversaries of the day that we each joined our family. In my case my original Gotcha Day was 10 years ago at the Des Moines Airport, where I had just flown with a lady across the Pacific Ocean to the Midwest U.S.A.. I was then delivered by this lady to my mom, Cheryl, with my dad watching. It's an important day for them, so it's a day when mom cooks a cake of our choice, and we eat cake and ice cream. My parents usually sing "Happy Gotcha Day" (sung to the Happy Birthday song melody), and my dad always takes video and pictures. Today is my 10th Gotcha Day and it gave me the idea for this post, to show pictures of each of my siblings and my Gotcha Days from the last year. So here they are...

7-18-2010 Jenna's 3rd Gotcha Day

Jenna licking the chocolate off of her #3.

Jenna is 6-years-old in these pictures.

Smiling Jenna.

To see and read about Jenna's original Gotcha Day, click here.

1-28-2011 Ryan's 2nd Gotcha Day.

Ryan, Jenna, and cake.

My little cuties!

Ryan and Jenna again. Ryan's 5 and Jenna's 6.

To see and read about Ryan's original Gotcha Day, click here.

2-11-2011 Alex's 7th Gotcha Day cake of his choice.

Alex with his 7th Gotcha Day cake.

Alex is 8-years-old in these pictures.

Jenna, Ben, Alex, and Ryan.

To see and read about Alex's original Gotcha Day, click here.

5-29-2011 Here's Ben and I today with our strawberry cake. It's my 10th Gotcha Day and Ben's 6th Gotcha Day.

Group photo. Today I'm 10 (soon to be 11) and Ben is 7 (soon to be 8).

Alex, Ryan, myself, and Ben eating our cake and ice cream. Jenna's eating ice cream by mommy, who's sitting in the kitchen watching TV.

5-26-2010 Ben's 5th Gotcha Day, and another strawberry cake from mom.

Jenna, Ryan and Ben, who was 6 in this picture.

To see and read about Ben's original Gotcha Day, click here.

5-31-2010 Here I am with Ryan and Jenna on my 9th Gotcha Day last year.

My little buddy Ryan and I, with my strawberry shortcake made by mom.

To see and read about my original Gotcha Day, click here.

Thanks for looking!

Year End Band Concert

2011-05-29T17:50:00.000-07:00

My last band concert of the year was May 26th, 2011. It was really fun! We had a successful year doing our homework, playing our songs and listening to our band instructor, Mr. Porter.

Here is a video of my flute ensemble playing the song "Froggie's Waltz".

Here is a video of the full band playing one of my favorite songs called "Two Miniatures"

After we played all of our songs we had pictures taken of the full band.

Next we received certificates and pins of our instrument.

Here is the certificate I received.

At the end of the concert there was refreshments available, which we all brought ourselves.

Here's My sister Jenna and I outside after the concert.

After the concert we played on one of our school's playgrounds. Here is a picture of us kids.

I look forward to starting at the middle school next fall, but first I have a whole summer to enjoy. I want to continue playing flute with their band. I also want to learn to play the saxophone and play in the Jazz Band. My dad says maybe we can find a used saxophone that he would help me buy, as long as I earn the money to pay for half. He said that would prove to him that I have the motivation to play 2 instruments.

Thanks for reading!

Repost of my Adoption Announcement

2011-05-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

August 23, 2001

It is early Thursday morning. Leah has been doing pretty well. She still doesn’t walk yet – she becomes lazy, and wants to sit when we try to encourage her to walk solo. Last weekend we visited Grandpa and Grandma Foley for his 61st, and her 60th Birthdays. Everyone was there except for Bruce and family, and Mike. Leah got to interact with everybody, and seemed to eventually get past her shyness. She got to play with her cousins Samantha and Kobe. On Monday I had to take Leah to see Dr. Metzger, where she received 4 vaccination shots, 2 on each leg. She screamed and screamed until we were on the way to her next appointment to see the eye doctor, Dr. Shah. She was asleep by this time, and I had to wake her when Dr. Shah came in to examine her. She wasn’t too cooperative, so he didn’t charge us for the visit. We scheduled her eye surgery for September 13, 2001, at St Lukes in Cedar Rapids. She has to see each of these doctors one more time before the surgery, and Dr. Shah needs to see her soon after the surgery. Hopefully it won’t be too painful. It is out patient surgery – she does not have to stay overnight at the hospital.

The front of Leah's Announcements we sent out to friends and family.

Inside of the Announcements.

Leah has been letting old pops get a little bit more sleep. She will wake up around 7 – 8 AM, but not complain too much. Pops just sleeps right through this, and she goes back to sleep until about 9 AM or so. Yesterday morning she actually slept past 10 AM – so I got almost 8 hours sleep! She is becoming more independent and requires less attention – but we still have to check on her pretty regular, or she will be destroying something. She is after all – Leah the destructor! Mom says that Leah wakes up about 2 – 3 times a night, and usually wants a bottle. She drinks about 2 whole bottles a night. She is still drinking Alsoy formula, with rice cereal mixed in. We feed her a variety of Gerber’s food, and sometimes she eats what we are eating. She loves macaroni & cheese, and tuna helper cheesy pasta. Cheryl said she fed her pieces of chicken nuggets the other day. She likes most fruits and vegetables. I wish she liked to sleep, as much as she likes to eat – pops sure likes to sleep. Leah still likes to go outside and swing in her tree swing, and she makes dad swing her for as long as she sees fit. She still has to wear an eye patch for 2 hours a day over her left eye, right up until the time of her surgery. Some days she is very good about wearing this patch, and other days she has to remove it several times in these 2 hours. Just about everywhere we go – everybody tells her how cute she is – she’s going to get a big head if she is still a cutie when she understands what these people are saying to her. She is our precious girl!

Leah with Samantha.

Leah's 2nd Eye Surgery - By Doctor Shah at St. Lukes Hospital in Cedar Rapids,Iowa.

10/11/2001.

Leah with Daddy on Surgery Day.

Leah after her 2nd Eye Surgery.

Leah about 1 month later - all healed and happy!

Our Family (2001).

2011 Junior Showstoppers

2011-03-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

This is something I've done every year in March. Our high school has a dance team called the "Showstoppers". One time each year we can sign up to learn a dance routine from them for a couple hours on a Friday afternoon. Then Saturday night we get to be in a dance show with them at our high school's gym, and a lot of people come to watch. We are called the "Junior Showstoppers" for this one performance, and this blog post is about this night.

Here we are during the intermission doing a race by passing our bodies through the hula-hoop while keeping our hands held with our neighbors. I'm the one in purple, and our team just barely lost.

In this photo all of us Junior Showstoppers are doing the Macarena dance. This is a video of our dance routine. I had a little trouble keeping my new glasses from slipping off, but we made it through OK. We danced to a song called "Dollhouse".

Here are us fourth and fifth graders coming off the floor after our routine.

Hitting a balloon up in the air after the show.

Tuffy - 9th Adoption Day!

2011-03-05T22:07:00.001-08:00

Hello! It has been over 4 months since my last blog post so here are some highlights since that time... Fall/Halloween - my brother Ryan's Adoption Day at a farm that had a corn maze and tractor rides. Thanksgiving at our Grandma's house and later at our house. Winter/Christmas and New Years - snowy (we got a Wii console and games, which we love and play whenever our parents let us). My parents got me a nice acoustic guitar that dad is teaching me to play. We decided to change our pony's name from Lucie to Lily. I've been playing flute with our school band and taking lessons. We've had one concert and we are preparing for another one on March 15, and we have to wear Springville Band sweatshirts that say "practice makes perfect" on the back. This brings us to the pictures below and the subjects of this blog post...

This is a picture for my 9th Adoption Day (2-28-2011). This is a cake that my mom made for me and I'm sitting with my sister Jenna. We are wearing hats because it was hat day the next day when we went to school. It had been 9 years since my name was changed from Kim, Jang Mee to Leah Lorraine Foley legally, and I also legally became my parent's daughter.

Dad sometimes asks us to make funny faces when he takes our picture. I was making my monkey face. Jenna was just doing her silly face.

This picture is from today. We received a new pony to ride! He is a pony gelding named "Tuffy", and he is almost 2. The first place we put him was in our dog pen so he could get used to seeing our other horses and they could get used to him. We tried to get Tuffy with our horse trailer but they couldn't get him to go into the trailer, so his prior owners delivered Tuffy in their trailer later.

Alex and I visiting our other horses before they met Tuffy for the first time. They are Thunder, Shilo, and Lily. They and Tuffy just looked at each other for awhile and maybe communicated with each other in horse language.

Lily, Thunder, and Shilo.

Here's Tuffy looking at the other horses while he is still in our dog pen. Tuffy first owner neglected him and didn't feed him or care for him, so he became really skinny and lost his energy. The lady we bought him from rescued him last November and fed him and made him strong again.

Tuffy checking out his new surroundings.

A little later my mom and I put on Thunder and Shilo's bridles and led the out of our corral, as Lily followed them. We did this so we could put Tuffy there and feed him some hay, and he could also visit with the other horses while still being seperated by a fence and gate.

Alex and Jenna in front of our hay barn. It was a cold day.

Tuffy is ready for his close-up in our corral. This is the spot where my mom feeds our horses hay and grain, and it's also where they drink water.

The horses are together, except for Thunder who was misbehaving and trying to show he's the alpha male of this pasture, so that's why he's on the outside looking in and not sharing the hay with the other horses.

Mom is feeding Tuffy something.

Mom and I observing the horses eating and how well they are getting along with each other (except Thunder). Back when we got Lily, Thunder chased her around for a long time until he finally cornered her. Lily then gave Thunder a couple of kicks to his face, and they have gotten along better since then.

Here's bad boy Thunder - for now - the outcast. He earlier got himself tangled up in the fence while he was trying to kick Tuffy. Mom had to cut the fence up and then remend it so he could get loose again. So far he's not behaving well so he's being kept seperate from the others for now.

Here's Thunder and Tuffy doing battle across the fence (the same fence Thunder got tangled in earlier), while Lily rushes to Tuffy's defense. Later Shilo also got between the 2 of them while they were messing with each other.

Tuffy posing nice for the camera.

Here I am in front of our hay barn. I'm looking forward to Spring and warmer weather so we can do some horseback riding.

Here's a short video of our new Pony - Tuffy! Thank you for reading my blog and I will try to post more often.

Dad posted another short interview with me on our family blog. To see it just click here.

Horse Riding

2010-10-17T20:45:00.000-07:00

Last Monday, October 11th, we got a new pony named Lucy. We got Lucy because Shilo is getting old (will be 32 next year), and so us kids (mostly me) could go horseback riding with our Mom and Aunt Heather. Lucy is 7-years-old. Here are some photos of some horseback riding fun...

Here I am am brushing Lucy and getting her ready to ride.

Lucy, Jenna, and I are ready to go.

Here I am riding Lucy in front of our hay barn.

Here's Jenna and Mom, and Jenna's ready to go.

Mom is putting the bridle on Lucy so Jenna can ride.

Here's Ryan getting ready to ride Lucy.

I'm riding Thunder and Mom is leading Alex around on Lucy.

Giving Thunder a hug. Ben's riding Lucy.

Thunder and I are heading off.

Here's Ben in mid-flight.

Posing for a picture with Thunder.

Here's Ryan after he just woke up from a nap - he missed out on the riding on that day.

Alex and Jenna on Thunder.

Mom riding Thunder.

That's all I have for now - thanks for looking. I'm really enjoying riding Lucy and I look forward to more fun riding our horses.

Our Family's Name Meanings and Origins

2010-10-10T22:18:00.000-07:00

Our Family's Name Meanings and Origins

Name ---------------- Origin ---------------- Meaning

Leah ---------------- Hebrew -------------------- Weary

Alexander ---------- Greek ----------------- Protector of Men

Benjamin ----------- Hebrew --------------- Favorite Son

Jenna ---------------- Arabic ---------------- Small Bird

Ryan ----------------- Irish -------------------- Little King

Brett ---------------- Scottish ------------------- Briton

Cheryl --------------- French ------------------- Beloved

I found these meanings at this site. If you want to find the meaning of your name and its origin, click here.

Beginnings

2010-10-02T21:36:00.000-07:00

Beginnings - Meeting my Parents, Brothers, and Sister for the First Time.

This post is about when I met my Parents, Brothers, and Sister for the first time. When I found out I was going to get my 1st little brother (Alex), I became curious about adoption (if mom told me it was called adoption). Also when we got Ben I was still a bit curious. With Jenna and Ryan I knew what adoption meant. Oh, and a couple more things. I remember when about a few months passed with Alex I wanted a sister, but after a while we got Ben. I remember that I prayed a lot for a little sister, and both mom and myself tried to talk dad into adopting another daughter. Then when mom told me we were going to adopt a girl I was excited, and later we got Jenna. Then with Ryan I was like yay more kids for me to watch, and lots more hard work for mom and dad. (Phew).

Below are a few pictures of when I first met my parents. This was at the Des Moines Airport and it was May 31st, 2001...

Here I am with my escort.

Mommy is holding me for the first time.

A new family.

My dad wrote a blog about me and one of the things he did with one post is show pictures of me through time. You can view it if by clicking here. Please know that you can return to this blog post from these links by clicking the 'back' arrow.

My dad also wrote a story about my first day in our family. You can see it by clicking here.

The day I met Alex we was at the Cedar Rapids Eastern Iowa airport,and the whole family was there. Alex was almost 2 and a little scared at first, but then he warmed up to me and we started playing with a toy back flip puppy. Everybody loved the puppy. When we got home for a month and a few days Alex would sometimes bite me, and he once punched our Pastor (Dale) at a Culvers. Oh this is what's funny about Alex. If you tell him ''Mr. Smiling Eyes'' he'll show you his smiling eyes and giggle. Another funny thing he did was the leopard dance.

Here are a few pictures from when I met my brother Alex...

Here is Alex mooching an orange from a lady in Japan.

This was when I first met Alex.

This is Alex and me playing with his backflip puppy.

My dad wrote a story about this day too - you can see it by clicking here.

I first met my brother Benjamin at my grandparents house where we stayed for a week while mom and dad traveled to Korea to get Ben. When mom dad and Ben came home Alex and I was happy. Ben was shy at first but like Alex he warmed up quickly. Mom told me to show Ben where the toys were, so I did. He loved the toys, especially a turtle on a leash, and the Bob the Builder thing where he tells you the tool and you push or turn what it tells you with a tool. When we were home for the first hour he bit me.

Here are a few pictures from the day I met my brother Benjamin...

Here we all are on my grandparent's front lawn.

Here is Ben holding Torchic, I'm holding Jack, and of course Alex has Pikachu.

Here we are in our kitchen with daddy and some souvenirs.

If you would like to read my daddy's story about this day, click here.

I first met Jenna at my grandparents house when my parents brought her home from China. This time we spent more than 2 weeks here while my parents traveled to China to get Jenna, but it was Summertime and we had fun. When mom, dad, and Jenna came home Alex, Ben and I were excited to meet our new sister. I was thinking she's so cute. I said 'hi' to Jenna and she gave me a big smile, then she got a present. It was a teach-and-learn dog. It got annoying, but she loved it.

Here are a few pictures from this day...

Here I am introducing myself to my new sister Jenna.

Showing Jenna how to eat corn-on-the-cob.

My new sister Jenna!

The story of this day from my dad can be read by clicking here. Don't forget about the back arrow to return.

We met Ryan in Cebu City at his foster familie's house. When we got there we walked in and said hi to everybody. I found Ryan and he was getting ready for a shower. When he got done he went to his room and I went there as well. I gave him his toys we brought for him. He played with the monster truck first then when he got some clothes on we went outside to a bench and played with the cars, then I put the cars right by each other and had Ryan make the monster truck run over the cars. He liked to do that a lot. We did it 4 more times then went inside to talk to his foster family. Ryan and I started watching Phinias and Ferb.(That’s the only show on Disney Channel that my dad likes, at least that I know of). This trip to the Philippines was fun, and it was fun getting to know Ryan and watching out for him. I especially liked all of the times we went swimming and I think Ryan liked swimming too.

Here are some pictures of my 'cool little dude' little brother Ryan...

Here we are at the Ayala Mall in Cebu City, which is where Ryan is from. His foster mother Nora is with us.

Ryan playing with his toys in our hotel room.

Here's Ryan on the way home from the airport.

To read dad's story about this day, click here please.

That's all I have for today - thank you for reading!

My Baptism

2010-09-20T08:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our Fall Campaign kickoff for our church, Living Hope Wesleyan Church. It was supposed to be an outdoor service, but it was a cold and rainy day. So the service was indoors, but after the service we all went around to the back of the church. This is where my mom and I were baptized.

Here are some other pictures from this day...

JimBob is testing the water. It was really cold I can tell you, Brrrrrr...

Getting ready to go - Mommy goes first.

My mom Cheryl right after she was baptized.

Here is a video of me being baptized.

Here we are freezing during the prayer.

Afterwards here's Jenna and Brady Heideman jumping in the bouncy tent.

Ryan, Alex and Jenna having some fun.

Coming at you - Ben and myself doing the bean bag toss.

Grandma Lois and Benjamin with his balloon monkey, made by Linda Olsen. We all received a lot of balloon animals, hats, and swords.

Here's our church band is performing some music.

Grandma Lois and Jenna with all of her animals and things.

Pastor Dale on the left with John Thomas and Kari Thomsen.

Here is an action photo of me after helping to perform the hokey-pokey on stage.

It was a fun and memorable day for all of us!

Jenna's Surgery, Cheerleading, and Biking

2010-09-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

Here are my brothers and sister Jenna. Jenna had to have surgery to remove her tonsils and adenoids. She gets to be off from school for 1 week, and she is supposed to have another surgery in 6 weeks to help her with her speech.

Here I am at our (Springville) football game. I am in the far back right corner. We cheered at this game after I participated in another cheerleader clinic. This is my fourth or fifth time I have done these clinics.

This is Springville's Marching Band performing at the game. My friend and neighbor Kayla, as well as several other friends are in this band.

Here's Ryan sleeping on the laundry after throwing a fit.

Here's my moms bike that she got from where she works (Rockwell-Collins) for her 20th year anniversary. She likes it because of the color, and because it's a 21 speed bike. It has lots of shock absorbers.

Here's my mom riding her bike for the first time. Alex is there and so is Jenna (way back). They are on the access road leading to our house.

Here I am with my brother Alexander.

Here's my dad with his bike.

Here's a picture of the sunset that I took with my camera.

One last picture from my cool camera.

Korean Money and Changes

2010-09-10T21:09:00.000-07:00

This is what money looks like in South Korea. It is called "Won". My dad says that the last time they were in Seoul 1,000 Won = around $1. So the 5,000 Won bill was around $5 and the 10,000 Won bill was around $10. This was in 2005 when my mom and dad traveled to Seoul to get my brother Ben (Huh, Min Jae).

My dad said when he lived in Seoul while he was in the Army that 700 Won was around $1. He also said that they had no subway trains in Seoul back then (1984-1985), but they had a couple of above ground trains. Dad said that things change fast in the cities in South Korea, but not so much outside the cities. He said that between the time they visited Seoul when they got Alex (2004) and Benjamin (2005) it had changed so much. Things change very quickly in Seoul.

When I was living in Seoul in 2000 and 2001, I was just a baby and I had crossed eyes so I really don't remember anything. Also because that was 10 years ago. But I do know that I lived with 2 different foster families so I had 2 different foster mothers. Here are some photos of my foster mothers...

This is me with my 1st foster mother in Seoul.

This is me with my 2nd foster mother. I started living with her after my first eye surgery. She was also my friend, Anna Scott's foster mother. My dad got to meet her in person when he traveled to Seoul to get Alex.

My dad wrote a story about when he lived in Seoul. You can read it by clicking here. My parents have promised that we will take a trip to Seoul, China, and the Philippines so we can all visit our homelands. I will be very excited when we go - dad says it's a magical place.

Here are my animals....

2010-09-07T17:35:00.000-07:00

Here are my animals....

This is me, Libby, and Ryan

Here is Shilo and Thunder

This is me with Ty-Bo

Here is Chase

And this is our simple Simon

Introduction to Leah's Blog

2010-09-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

My name is Leah and this is my blog. I am currently 10-years-old and I am in 5th Grade. The name of my blog represents my Korean name and its meaning. I was born in Sokcho City in South Korea on 8-8-2000. Sokcho City is on the east coast of South Korea, on the Sea of Japan. It is close to the DMZ, which is the boundary between North and South Korea. I left Korea on May 31st, 2001 and flew across the Pacific Ocean with my escort and landed in Chicago, Illinois in the United States of America. From there we flew to the Des Moines Airport. We arrived around midnight and I was delivered into the arms of my mother Cheryl. My father Brett and my Aunt Lori were also there. I am my parent's first child, but now I have a sister, Jenna who was adopted from China. I have 2 brothers who were also adopted from Korea, Alex, and Benjamin. I have one other brother named Ryan, who was adopted from the Philippines. I traveled with my parents to the Philippines when we went to receive Ryan.

Some of the things I like to do are playing with my little sister Jenna. I like to play with our cat, Simon, and our dogs Chase, Libby, and Ty-Bo. I also like to ride one of our horses, Thunder. I like to ride my bike, dance, and do cheerleading. I also like to waterpaint, and to take pictures with my digital camera. I'm going to post a lot of pictures here on my blog. My favorite subjects in school are math, science, and spelling. I really like to receive comments so if you come here to read my blog please leave me a comment if you can. The purpose of my blog, besides posting pictures is to write about the things that are happening in my life. My dad tells me that blogs are good writing practice if you keep them up, and he ought to know - he keeps several blogs.

That is all for now. Enjoy my Blog!